Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Growing Up is the Energy of the Future: Prolog

These have a lot of embarrassing things in them, but the important stuff is wrapped right up with the worst of the embarrassing stuff.  I want someone else who has to go through something like this to know that they aren't alone. I am cleaning up some typos, but that's it.  This is my journal as I wrote it then.
---- Originally posted 2007/9/3 ---

Hi Blogger, I am Sky Estella Branwenn Angwusnasomtaqa the Third, Mistress of the Far Void and Lord of the Western Marches.

Okay not really.  As far as I know, I am neither nobility nor Native American..so my name is just "Sky Estella Branwenn".

But I guess you sort of already know that as I entered my name when I made this thing.

Not really sure what I am supposed to put here..and I think I'm too shy to let anyone read it.

School is about to start and it will be nice to see my friends again.  I just got back from a really cool trip to Japan.  Mom is a total Japan geek, shes always trying to push anime into the sociology of film classes she teaches. I kind of wish she would start dating again; shes not that old! and really pretty!

Okay, on this trip we went all over. Akkihaba..aki..er the district with all the cosplayers, was one of our first stops.  We must have looked kind of silly, taking lots of pictures, but there was lots of other touristy people there too.

I know Lucifer (That's my sisters real name.  She'll insist it's Lucy..but look on her birth certificate it's Lucifer!) tried to buy some hentai but she was foiled pretty quickly.  I think she did it more to annoy mom then anything.

Anyway that stuff isn't important! What is important is all the awesome stuff we saw. Like the mountains! I mean we have cool mountains here, Mt. Hood, Mt. St. Helens. (Who was St. Helens anyway? Did she like blow people up for Christ or something?) Mt. Tabor isn't really a mountain..but the coast range is made of mountains, I would say. But the mountains in Japan were awesome! I mean Mt. Fuji of course with its smooth shape and all, but really most of japan is one big mountain range covered in trees! I love trees!

Whats also cool is in the shrines especially the ones on the mountains. The shrines even have real life mikos and whatever male Shinto priests are called. I really like the red and white outfits they have. Its kind of silly that I find them so sexy..I mean Shinto is all about purity and such. But they are just so cute!

Mom dragged us to a whole bunch of shrines. I think that's something Mom loves even more then anime! She has a ton of books about different religions and cultures and we would celibate all sorts of strange holidays at home, like Khordad Sal.  I guess it makes sense given that she majored in Anthropology in college.

One of the bigger shrines was one that used to practice human sacrifice..or at least that what I heard..I didn't have the courage to ask the miko about it.  The miko at that shrine was kind of scary. She seemed nice but she looked at me strangely, like she was trying to size me up.

Also, she clearly loved her job. Like maybe even too much.  Ahh, that doesn't make sense.
That night was when the dreams started.

I've always had strange dreams but I almost never had nightmares, and never more then once.
That night, well, I..I wet the bed I was so scared, and that was after I woke up.

Wow, I am kind of surprised I can write that.  I mean you don't get much more embarrassing then a 14 year old admitting they wet the bed.

Well, I think I am just putting off writing about the dreams them self.  Okay hear goes:
I wake up, but I'm tied down, strapped to a giant log, I can't lift my head to see how long it is, but I know it was at least 30 jou long.  I was scared, but ready to die. I knew that my death would bring prosperity to the land.

A priest stood up from where he was just tying the last strap, and then the tree trunk started to move, tipping slowly into the channel carved for it..falling towards the lake, moving faster and fast, I can't help it I scream out in terror, I don't want to die, I don't want to die.

The log changes beneath me into a snake, a snake even bigger then the log, I know, somehow, that the snake goes all the way from the foot hills to the top of the hills.  The straps are gone, and I notice that now I am back in my own body, I was a boy when I was tied to a log, a boy that thought in Japanese.

Now I am in the Garden of Eden, reaching out to an apple tree, the snake is still there telling me that I need the apple, that she (I can tell somehow the snake is female)  needs me to take the apple.

Only the apple is on fire, no, that's not bright enough, the apple is burning, white hot, a miniature sun that burns away my arm as I bring it too my mouth, I can feel it falling down my throat as my body burns up from head to foot.

And then I am nothingness, just a presence in void that doesn't even have the idea of going on forever..there is no place here, no infinity for it to stretch in.

And then I notice that there are two angels fighting..or maybe they are devils. One is the most handsome man I have ever seen, tanned skin stretching over perfect muscles, and even though he is nude, it's like he's in the most sophisticated suit I have ever seen, on his side, just above his hip, an arrow is stuck, the wound bleeding freely.  From his back tendrils of flame are flowing into the void, combing into a disk of golden-white light. The way his muscles flex over his shoulder, the sound of his deep voice, is overwhelming.  Even growling in anger and pain, his voice wraps around me, I could listen to it forever.

It seems like he is losing, his face is contorted in pain and the other angel has pushed back his limbs pinning him 'beneath' her.

She is beautiful, taller even then him, strong, but with a layer of fat over her hard muscles, her breasts pull my eye, full, hanging from her chest like fruit, they should be too much, but they fit her body, combing with the curve of hip to form a perfect figure.  Like an image of strong mother hood, of a fertile body, of of sex and babies, and life, hungry and consuming, bounties and giving. Her wings stretch out, blacker then the void they sit in, long and powerful, smelling of fresh rich soil.

They cry out again, and I realize its not only in pain. There hips are locked together, wet with sweat and other fluids.
As soon as their screams of anger and ecstasy start to fade, and white light shines from with in her body, a ball of light that quickly fills the whole void, burning even my non-existent presence away.

And then I am the boy again, slamming into the lake, my body screaming in pain as the water pours into my lungs, I can feel my broken ribs bend under the force of the water as I plunge down down away from the light struggling against the darkness and the pain.

And that's when I woke up and wet the bed.

So yeah, weird dream..but then I had it again, and again.  Three times in the past 2 weeks.
Well uh..bye Blogger!

Love,
Sky E. Branwenn

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